From 5th-9th February 2017

I scrutinized every single element at church today. As though I’ve never set eyes on them. As though those walls were unfamiliar to me and the rooms wasted, alien spaces. I savoured the sacrament. I sang the hymns with much joy, and sadness, and, somewhat, confusion. There’s no joy when any journey’s end is in sight. We seem to believe that once we get what we need all becomes well and the whole world is at peace. Unless you get to that end, you’d never know how miserable it is to realize what you always hoped, even prayed, for. For a while reality will need a bit of time to comfortably fit in with the flow you were used to, and then all will make sense shortly after.
It’s the first Sunday of the month so it’s  a Fast and Testimony Sunday. The testimonies of the members were so beautiful and heartfelt. I felt connected to their faith and joy and strength.

Impressions from the testimonies I heard

I got a new friend through another very great friend and we’ve been in great conversations. So most of my time from Monday till Thursday were occupied with this friend, a few books, music, enjoying my new phone and revising my dissertation.

On Thursday morning I woke up sad. I left the house with Oxana.

The last time I saw Oxanah

She had to go to work and I had to go to the post office to pick up a package for a family back home, and run errands for my sister,pick the metro back home and  go to the forex bureau. I got back an hour later than I had planned or anticipated. I had to fix those stuff into my baggage somehow and when by the time I was done I was panting, heavily.
I moved my bags downstairs and right after the gate automatically locked I realized how silly I had been. I should have stayed inside and ordered a taxi using the wifi network. Now I was outside the gates, and I almost felt I could help myself out by just shooting myself dead. Immediately i set eyes on one of the gentlemen who helps with snow clearing and removal in the area i said a prayer and walked towards him. In very few words and with the help of my translator he understood me and made an attempt to call a taxi for me which didn’t work out. He then approached two other men who came to the parking space to move their car and they helped us, actually me, out. He assured me that the taxi will be with me in 5 minutes and the taxi pulled right in front of my gate in exactly 5 minutes. I was so thankful. At this point I was getting so impatient. 7 minutes into the trip and Nastya was already at the airport waiting for me. 10 minutes into the journey and a part of me felt the driver was planning something fishy. To kidnap me maybe, or something worse. He was making calls all of a sudden and texting and driving simultaneously. I was terrified! I called Nastya and had her speak with him just so I feel safe. When I got my phone back she told me to…

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