FREEDOM

For Leslie 

What is your deepest fear? Who can you share it with?
Today I want to share my thoughts (as always) and I wish that in the process I may gain some understanding of a sort.
I was on a phone call with my mum a few hours back, and I realized how much joy the sound of her laughter brings into my being. When we laugh together about the same things, it lightens so many burdens and cares and I wish the moment never ends. You see I love my mother so much her happiness matters to me. Her joy directly affects my sense of happiness, her peace is my comfort. That for me is what love is (or should be) 
When I was 14 years old, I thought I fell in love with someone I greatly admired then. His voice gave me joy, his very existence and the thought of him brought me so much anxiety and restlessness, in the most beautiful way. I thought that was what love was. I thought feeling heady after a hug or a handshake or a wink was all there was to it. He was physically attractive, very much so. I loved seeing him. I loved spending time with him. I loved him. Now I understand that was not love, at all. I was merely infatuated. As for how he felt about me, methinks he was just having the time of his life (as most boys his age were, at the time, and that’s totally ok).
Now the world has varied views of what love is and the sort of sacrifices one makes (or should make) as a consequent of this intense feeling toward the other.
Characters who fall in love with each other in movies oft times neglect their health risks, religious beliefs, and so many other important things to be with that one person. But is the most important thing about love and affection SACRIFICE? Is it?
To me love is spelt F.R.E.E.D.O.M
If you love someone you set them free to achieve limitless possibilities (with or without you). I feel the main purpose of life is to learn more about ourselves and the people around us and to appreciate the little things, and to do better and become better. If you love someone you give them the freedom to choose their life and future, what they want it to be and what they want to be, whether or not that future includes you. Cowardice breeds insecurity. Immaturity translates into jealousy and possessiveness. No one human belongs to (or was made) for one person- that would defy the very Divine design of life.
I’ve found the love of my life, and as circumstances will have it, I cannot be with him, there’s no chance of a future together. Because of him I wish Religion wasn’t. Strangely, my affection for him grows ever more lovely though we do not communicate much. He lives his life and I live mine. On those rare moments when I literally die to hear from him I reach out. It is a painful process, what I’m experiencing, but I’m happy to have been blessed to feel what I feel. I’m grateful that I was chosen to have this experience, it is priceless.
When I think about love, I think about
Freedom
Expression
Understanding that what was may not be in the near future,
And appreciating this fact.
You can’t be disappointed with love because you can’t bank your hopes on it anyway.
You can’t be frustrated with love because it is the ultimate web of frustration.
Love is for the determined,
For the brave who have the power to do.
Above all, love is the cornerstone of our existence.
It is everything in everything, consuming and drawing all unto itself. And occasionally widening its arms to embrace us all. Leaving a beautiful scar that we might have a glimpse of what an Eternal, Heavenly Father feels for us, just as we are.
Paulo Coelho describes love in his book, THE WITCH OF PORTOBELLO, “love fills everything. It cannot be desired because it is an end in itself. It cannot betray because it has nothing to do with possession. It cannot be held prisoner because it is a river and will overflow it banks. Anyone who tries to imprison love will cut off the spring that feeds it, and the trapped water will grow stagnant.”
Maybe I won’t find love again,
Maybe I will have the love I’m losing, eventually
Or maybe this hope will remain with me till the end of my days,
But maybe I can take charge of my life and channel my energies to the giving of it rather than the constant, selfish wish of receiving, always. Whatever my lot may be in the near future, i look forward to. In the meantime, I  can enjoy this freedom, can’t I? Lové yourself, appreciate others. ESSY SCRIPTS

Photo credit- @phishEye

 

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